Spinning in Circles

Have you ever had that feeling like you’re supposed to be doing something and you do everything BUT that thing? The everything winds up being a distraction or a detour. And better yet, the detours are dead ends. That happened with me today; and somehow, I finally heard what God was trying to say to me.

The ‘spinning in circles’ part is this fat lump of clay spinning off center on the wheel of the Master Potter. No matter how you try to right it, unless you let the Potter squeeze and push and mold that lump it continues to spin lopsided and will eventually fly completely off the wheel.

As I have intimated in previous posts, I’ve known that I am to be writing. I’ve known for years. Crippled by fear and lack of knowledge, intimidation and negative self talk, I have ignored the command and stayed busy in any direction away from sitting down with pen and paper or keyboard. My little ‘busybody’ self easily runs circles around the average individual so finding diversion comes naturally… But I am called to be supernatural. The time has come for obedience in the hard thing.

Unable to go to my job today, I found myself with time on my hands. What to do, what to do? I did all the things; the running, the walking the dogs, the breakfast cooking and cleanup. I then sat on the edge of my bed trying to decide which direction to go. I know! Library! I had a book to return and I could get another to occupy my mind for the next couple days. Or maybe the thrift shop to buy a ‘new to me’ book to read for our trip home. Alas… thrift shop closed…Library closed. Ok….Maybe get albums to fill with family photos. I found some and some watercolor paint and paper. I went to stand in line to pay for the items. Line has fifteen people waiting, trailing around the store…

My impatient self said, “Never mind!”

I went out to the car, asking myself, “Now what?’ and heard very loudly…

“I’ve already told you what to do with yourself. Go home and write.”

It took three dead ends today to get my attention, and many years of that still small voice telling me to pick up the pen.

Will this be the last time I wrestle with God? Will I heed that voice? It is fairly likely that I will be in a match again with thoughts and frustration and ‘busyness’. I know that about myself. But…I pray that my listening will be quicker; that my heart would be more pliable; that the fights would be less intense and that my feet would run faster to the Potter’s house, again and again and again.