Living in Color

“…Behold, a throne was standing in heaven, and One sitting on the throne. And He who was sitting was like jasper stone, and a Sardis in appearance; and there was a rainbow around the throne, like an emerald in appearance.” -Revelation 4:3

Color!! Marvelous, amazing color!

There is a line of a song that I woke up with this morning, dancing through my head. “Clothed in rainbows, of living color…what a marvelous mystery…”

Hahaha. This is usually how these songs are. One partial line that flows over and in and through me…all day long. I realized it was these chapters of the Word I had been studying the last few weeks; Dwelling here on this rich ground of truth.

Indeed! A beautiful sight!

This thought led into the day, perhaps choosing color to paint the walls of my ‘new to me’ home. We would choose white, simply because it goes with everything, it’s clean and it’s bright. But how boring. I like bright beautiful color. That would be my leaning.

Why do some people choose color and others choose white for the walls of their house? Meandering tumbling thoughts interrupting my quiet. I have to chuckle at where they take me.

God is clearly a lover of variety and color. Evidence is all around us. And here it is written in a description of the Throne room. We are created in His image, so surely color is part of that design!

Art 101 teaches that white is the presence of color, all colors. Black is the absence of color. AH! Now that makes sense. Creative and glorious being is of course clothed in rainbows…

God is light. He is Living color! He is a mighty Presence; Worthy of our adoration!

We are created in His image, it is no wonder that there is such differences of color in people’s lives. I gravitate to variety and random combination of color. Surely there was reason I was made this way. Others, prefer flat white or gray or sameness. It all comes together as a rainbow of variety across the earth.

As I enjoy this section of scripture and then walk through my day delighting in all the beauty around me, I realize what an incredible Creator we have.

This life is simply a reflection of the amazingness of heaven. A bare whisper of what is to come. How lovely that we, as His people, are partakers of this marvelous mystery!

Yes…I will paint my house white… and then fill it and surround it with every imaginable color!

Have a beautiful day.

Love, Bets

Rule Stretcher

“In your seed all the nations of the earth will be blessed, because you have obeyed My Voice.” – Genesis 22:18

I had an interesting conversation with a friend this evening. One that provoked some introspection.

We were discussing how we wanted to honor the boundaries set up by this organization we were a part of. I agreed wholeheartedly. I have a great deal of respect for the organization and thus it becomes my responsibility to follow the guidelines. My friend pointed out that she was a rule follower so it was easy for her, though she is not a ‘first-born’. I laughed. My response was that I AM a first born but often, with boundaries, I have some trouble. I did, however say, that I do not want to get in trouble, or do anything wrong; That keeps me from breaking rules.

As I have pondered the conversation, and all that God is doing in my life right now, I realized this was one of THOSE moments to pay close attention.

I will admit to playing in the ‘gray’ area much of my life. I would say, that many of my years have been spent ‘stretching the rules’. Just how far the wrong way can I go without completely crossing the line? That is a dangerous game.

When you dabble in pushing limits and dwelling in gray areas, it becomes difficult to recognize truth, boundaries and the worst of the worse, to make decisions.

This was one of those pivotal moments for me. I had to make an administrative decision, and in my gut, I KNEW the right decision and I couldn’t make it. I did not trust my judgement. If just me, I would stretch boundaries in the decision even when I knew the right thing for the larger good. Because I myself would easily bend and sway any direction, I could not make out the correct course for the wellbeing of the ship.

Then God!

I am so grateful that number one: I prayed. Number two: God answered with a very clear…”ask for help.” Number three: A confirmation from the person I asked for help. And then…

He showed me, through this very simple and brief conversation, the root of the difficulty with decision making has been my own digression in the past from the course God had for me; the disobedience to or ‘stretching’ of the rules all my life.

Isn’t it amazing how our mighty God sees even these tiny little holes in our makeup and uses seemingly inconsequential events in our lives to transform us, to make us whole, to take us to something new and rich for our lives!?

O Lord! Forgive me for all the years of choosing poorly. Open my eyes to recognize truth and help me to trust Your Holy Spirit within for right choices and clear thinking. Heal the indecisiveness that disguises itself as deference, in the Name of Jesus. Thank You so much for leading me well. I love You Lord! Thank You for helping me stop and LISTEN.

Victorious in Jesus!!

Golden Bowls

“And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the Lord’s people.” -Ephesians 6:18

This vessel, so human, created in God’s image yet with a heart so transparent and fragile that it breaks at the slightest provocation. It aches for itself. It struggles for others. It takes everything into its care, thinking it is all by itself in the healing of the woes of this world.

Such a conundrum for them called to be burden bearers, or prayer warriors, or watchmen on the walls.

We are to be anxious for nothing as we lay concerns at the Feet of the One who can repair broken-down walls. We are to continue, despite the seeming reluctance of the One to heal our loved ones. Yet…

We are humans.Highly favored. Loved. Effective. Useful. Co-creators with God Almighty. Still flesh and bone.

Our tear ducts act of their own accord. Our body is affected by our mind and our spirit. We feel so deeply or we stuff the feelings down so deeply.

This morning, I am struggling in my flesh and bone-ness. I am feeling the pain and weight of a dear one as I am before the throne with my prayers.

I am wondering, in my humanness, WHY?!

“If You know the outcome, and You have a great plan, why do I even intercede, why do they suffer so, WHY will a loved one die?”

“Is my place here on my face even necessary?”

I don’t know if I have ever asked this before. I have felt it at times when blindness wasn’t healed, when a baby took its final breath, when a young mother died at birth, when MY baby wasn’t born breathing, when I had to feel such intense emotional pain at the loss of my parents. I have felt the empty, pointless chasm in my soul…at those times…but I didn’t ask…Why.

Today. I am asking.

My God has reminded me, pointedly, that He desires to be in these moments with me, on my knees, on my path; that even when things don’t go quite the way I would want, He still wants to hear my voice.

Really!!!!?

So many broken, disappointed and grieving hearts can’t receive that when they are lost in the dark, yet the God of the universe hears every plea, knows every purpose. Indeed, has a plan.

I do want to be a part of that plan, to see what exactly is on the other side.

I know in my spirit that I do not walk alone. That in the midst of all the ‘feels’, He is beside me, likely feeling every bit of the pain too…And if He is listening to all of us, how great must His pain be…

The Cross.

The ultimate pain of a Father. Here He placed every human failing and every past, present and future pain we could ever feel. He cleansed us here. He redeemed our soulful eyes, and longing hearts. With this precious Son of His, He crucified our losses and raised us up to Life Everlasting with Himself!

Now to take that truth and apply it to the every day.

Is it salve to my wound? Is it healing oil over the bruises of living? Is it victory in my defeats?

I lift up my eyes, in these very frequent times of broken hearted tears over the hearts and lives of others, and realize that He is in this with me. I am not alone. I am a necessary part of a much bigger picture that I cannot yet see.

The Word.

This verse has been my favorite for a very long time. As I have prayed for many years, it has been my comfort and my connection to a Holy God who hears.

“When He had taken the book, the four living creatures and the twenty-four elders fell down before the Lamb, each one holding a harp and golden bowls full of incense, which are the prayers of the saints.” -Revelation 5:8

Incense.

Saints. That’s us!

My prayers are incense in golden bowls! Valuable, preserved, cherished, held high before the Lamb of God!

Sweet Lord! Thank You for reminding me this morning of the fragrant aroma these words and tears are to You.

I will ever fall on my face before your Presence. I know that when I do not have the words or even thoughts Your Spirit intercedes on my behalf with something beyond the human tongue.

A Continual Feast

“…In everything, give thanks, for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.” -1Thess 5:18

A car full of squirming and rambunctious kids set out for the day from home. They had, five minutes previously, been racing madly about making lunches and getting snacks, looking for shoes and water bottles and bathing suits and sand toys. Mama had been happily nursing her baby on the couch as the kids gathered their things and finished their tasks. Now they were seat belted and car seated into the vehicle and the first call for the day was…

“Okay! Let’s do our Gratefuls!”

Inevitably, the next to the littlest began first, with a lengthy list of almost unintelligible things she was thankful for, ending with MOMMY AND DADDY! and a flourish. Only to try to start up again with something forgotten in her two year old mind. The other older children did their gratefuls and then it was Mommy and Daddy’s turn, and then Mimi.

When it got to my turn, my first thought was always, I am so grateful for this family who starts out their day thinking on what they are thankful for. It is such a beautiful picture of exactly how we should ‘do’ our days.

It is so easy to rush into the necessary things; especially if you have to leave early to work or get kids to school. I remember.

Even if you don’t have those things in the season you are in, you are human. Our first conscious thoughts in the mornings are rarely ‘Thanks’.

One thing I have learned, is that this gift of ‘Giving Thanks’ is not just an act, but weapon. It is like putting on armor for the day, or picking up a sword to combat the ungrateful or critical thoughts that parade in front of us.

Thanksgiving has done wonders for me. During disappointment, discouragement and grief I tended to wallow down in the pit of discontent. Being able to say a very small and weak ‘thank you’ in the midst, drew me up and out of darkness.

There was a reason it is pointed out so often in scriptures. The observance of Thanksgiving happened during a bleak and miserable time in our country’s history. There was method to the people’s madness. They NEEDED to say Thank You to ease their despair. And to show gratitude to the people that helped them survive. Perhaps scripture-based?

November is typically my month to consciously and critically be thankful for one thing per day of the month. It is a beautiful entry into the celebration of Jesus at Christmas time. We have SO very much we are blessed with in our lives. We could set aside a moment for every single day of the year to recount our ‘gratefuls’!

‘…a cheerful heart has a continual feast.” Proverbs 15:15

Surely, with thanks on our lips we feast continually before the King of Kings!

Today, I am thankful for the young lady who prompted me to participate in this Thirty-Day challenge to write every day for the month of November. It has been refreshing and fun! I eagerly approach my computer to see what God will have to say each day.

Thank You, God, for the way You orchestrate the most surprising things!

Stop Here to Rest

” I am humbled and quieted in Your Presence. Like a contented child rests on its mother’s lap, I’m Your resting child and my soul is content in You.”-Psalm 131:2

I have pushed myself beyond my physical limits, doing the work of men for hours. Once again, I am reminded of my smallness and my fragile frame. I always think myself invincible and stronger than those around me. This flimsy thinking has no basis other than my own thoughts toward myself.

I am grateful to my God who sees. Rather than leaving me to myself, debilitated, he lets me work until I can barely stand and then pushes me to my shower and then my bed for rest. I realize, through the next day, as I slowly regain my strength, that He is not fooled by my bravado. He knows my frame and He knows it well. I am the one who fights to finish, who ignores the signs of exhaustion, who presses on into the night when man is made to work a portion of the day and then to REST.

Thank You my Lord for giving me free will, for allowing me this freedom to discover my own weakness and then gently bringing me to humility and a sweet dependence upon Your healing and wisdom.

Help me to know these things before I foolishly hurt myself. Is this the stubborn hard head I have heard so much about?

I will rest on Your lap dear One. Speak to me Your Heart that I may share it with them that come after.

As I climb up onto each new mountain for the day, fill me with the joy of submission as I follow Your way. I know Your Ways are best.

Plans

It could be our weakened or broken bodies. It could be a cell, locked tight. It could be a criticism or physical abuse against us. It could be chains around our wrists. It may well be an addiction that we cannot leave behind or a lie that we believe.

Any of these could imprison our minds and lives to the point that we think we cannot move forward.

What of the man, Paul of Tarsus? This man who had a life changing encounter with the Living God. Challenged to look at his life in the Light of God’s Glory, and though physically blinded, SAW for the first time in his life!

Considered a weapon for the government of his day, his pedigree was above reproach. He was highly educated, likely well paid, and respected, with awe, for his swift carriage of ‘justice’ against the christians who were an offense to the philosophies and beliefs of the crown and the Jewish leaders.

But God!!

God had other plans. His story of transformation is remarkable because it is often much like our own. Read the story in the Bible in the Book of Acts. Specifically Acts 9.

God has design for us as well, in our own fractured plans.

After traveling and boldly spreading the Gospel of Jesus Christ all over the land, for many years, Paul is imprisoned…Prior to this time, were many beatings and jail time and ill treatment. Even from the church. He never lost his stride or stopped what he had been given to do.

This reading in Philippians this morning really captured my attention.

Paul is in jail, yet he continues to write letters to his fellow believers and acquaintances in the churches. Not ‘woe is me’ letters, but encouraging, uplifting remarks to spur the churches on in their faith.

He did not caution them in their preaching of the truth. “Don’t get too fanatical. Don’t get too loud or take chances. Don’t offend anyone.” He did not talk of despair. Instead, he said,

” Now I want you to know brethren, that my circumstances have turned out for the greater progress of the gospel.” -Philippians 1:12

He spoke only of how this imprisonment was being used for God’s purposes and glory, how the entire guardhouse in the prison were being influenced and turning to the truth of Jesus.

“…and most of the brethren, trusting in the Lord because of my imprisonment, have far more courage to speak the word of God without fear.” -Phil 1:14

We can choose to be whole by willfully embracing the power of Christ. God says freedom is possible. This is exactly what Paul did. While in jail for his faith, he continued to speak for Christ, not waiting to be released. He was able to live a life of impact in the midst of his circumstances.

We do not need to wait to be released from whatever holds us back to claim the territory in front of us!

Is it your marriage? Your children? Your grandchildren? A vision?

Let us, like Paul, boldly take up ‘our cross’ daily and press into worship through our lives. We are His. He has plans.

I for one, want to walk in those plans for the glory of God! I will sing atop mountains! Dance before my King! Give all that I have, every crown, every joy, to my Savior!

“I expect and hope that I will not fail Christ in anything, but that I will have courage now, as always, to show the greatness of Christ in my life here on earth, whether I live or die.” -Phil 1:20 NCV

Bless you friends!

Bets

Night. Night.

When it is Day Twelve of a writing challenge, it’s the end of a day, you haven’t written a thing, and now there’s no other thought in your head but to find your pillow and go to sleep….

If our God desires relationship with us at every moment of our day, and he invites us to intimacy even in our not so pretty events, we bow our heads, turn from our own ways, and look for Him in those tired, upside down, inside out, last ditch thoughts of the night.

“Hey God, it’s me, how ya been?”

‘Aw, come on Bets, climb on up here and let me soothe your troubles and sing away your cares. Those weights are not for you to carry. I’ve got a much better plan.”

‘Ok….Lord, I don’t have the strength to climb. Can You lift me up?”

“Sure. Come here.”

He really is THAT approachable. Even if we grew up with fear and predictions of doom and gloom when we mess up, He calls, He welcomes, He covers us with an awareness of forgiveness and rest.

Let us, even now, walk under that covering and be nurtured and sung to and rocked to sleep. This God who dwells in Light and is Truth has open arms just waiting for the end of a busy day when we will run into them.

He gives to His beloved in their sleep.

WE ARE HIS BELOVED!

Good Night.

string lights hanged on bed frame
“I was asleep but my heart was awake. A voice! My Beloved was knocking….” Song of Solomon 5:2

The Lie

“Whoever walks in integrity walks securely, but whoever takes crooked paths will be found out.” Proverbs 10:9

This will give my readers a chuckle. It begins this morning as I pop a fresh raspberry into my mouth at breakfast. Instantly I am back in time, a sharp memory and vision from the past…from that forbidden taste of fruit.

We were around age fourteen, maybe? My best friend and I are reaching bare, tanned arms through a low fence to gather raspberries to eat. We don’t carry a basket, because every one of them go directly to our mouthes…Sounds so sweet and wholesome, doesn’t it? It wasn’t.

It was dark, late at night. The fragrance of ripe fruit filled the neighborhood air…. and…it was my friend’s elderly neighbor’s house.

I was a willing participant, told by my friend that this neighbor welcomed the kids on the block to come pick his fruit. I dared to ask, why at night when we couldn’t really see the fruit very well. In my soul, I knew this didn’t sound right but I was not about to argue. The intrigue of the night adventure, the deliciousness of the fruit and the extreme fun with a likeminded friend was foremost in my conscience, not honesty and right.

Every single time I eat a raspberry, I recall this mischief. As my thoughts wander through the memory, I also see the kind elderly man in the light of day, asking us if we had seen anybody stealing his fruit.He said he was certain he had a really great crop to pick soon and it looked as though there weren’t too many left. He had a gleam of knowledge in his eyes and he watched us to see how we would respond..when we responded, ‘no, we haven’t seen anybody.” I knew our guilt was sealed in this man’s mind. He kindly said, “Well, I guess the birds got them…”

Oi, the Catholic guilt came pouring into my accused heart…I knew I’d be heading to confession on Saturday this week.

Unfortunately, this act gave birth to many more dishonest, sneaky and lawless pranks, seemingly innocent in my conscience but equally wrong.I am ashamed to say that I was the author of most of those plans, leading friends and brothers down my wayward path. The law did not apply to me, fences and signs meant nothing and the world belonged to me to do with as I pleased.

Oh my…a raspberry. Truth called out of my depths as I confess my imperfection, my penchant for the lie, my lack and search for belonging and identity.

Oh praise God, that He saw me down there with my arm through the fence and my foot over the line. He gently spoke to me and lifted me out of the mud into His arms of forgiveness, acceptance and identity. How I love this God of mine!

He calls out to us every day as choices are set before us. We all, like kids on a raspberry run, need the moments of accountability, the Hand of the Holy Spirit turning our eyes off of our selves and our own desires.

Thank You, Father God, for this sweet and hidden reminder of Your beautiful grace in my life!

“Blessed are the pure in heart for they shall see God.” Matthew 5:8

galletitas

Even If

“O love the Lord, all you His godly ones! The Lord preserves the faithful.” Psalm 31:23

Even when I cannot see…will I be faithful? When it’s foggy and I don’t know why…will I press on? When no one else goes with me…will I still go? When the way is all uphill or rocky, will I remain on the path? When I lose my way…will I trust God?

I received a challenge this morning. One that I feel certain I could easily have missed.

The morning was beautiful and still, beckoning me to the woods for a walk. I had been busy every day this week, gone from the house or tearing apart an old floor, bent over and sweating…I deserved a rest day didn’t I? Should I stay home this morning? But…no…’forsaking not the assembling of yourselves together…” a bible verse sprang into my thoughts as I considered the choice before me. For some reason, I needed to obey this morning, so I did.

Will I continue faithful when I don’t want to?

The message from Pastor Steve this morning was on Faithfulness.

Faithfulness starts with God and Who God is. Faithfulness to God is not dependent on popular opinion. Faithfulness to God may not be rewarded or valued by people on earth. Faithfulness points to God, not us. Faithfulness to God isn’t dependent upon the outcome. Faithfulness cultivates faithfulness.

Faithfulness…even if… no one notices, even if there is no acclaim, even if your people don’t value what you do, or say, or write, even if you are ridiculed, threatened or persecuted.

Ding!!!! Oh Lord…I get it. I have struggled with the need for accolades and feedback for everything I do in life. Performance-oriented much? Yes..I remain faithful…and I expect to be noticed…I gear my actions to what is pleasing to others…

This writing is the sore spot. He has asked that I submit my pen to Him. Write His words, His way, in His timing… and still I put it out there and look for feedback…He is asking that I continue obeying and being faithful in what he has asked me to do without expecting any return at all. Will I do that?

Yes Lord, it is Yours. Do with it as You wish. Have Your way. Be high and lifted up, my King! You must increase, I must decrease.

Oh! That I am loved so well that my King would speak to me in the little things and in the big…Help me to listen more to what He would say.

Faithfulness.

Building

“You see the bad situation we are in, that Jerusalem is desolate and its gates burned by fire. Come, Let us rebuild… Then they said…Let us arise and build.” Nehemiah 2:17-18

Walls trampled down in disregard. Peoples cast aside in shunning. Forgotten lives, abused lives, lives used for selfish intent, evidence of rebellion. We are indeed in a bad situation.

But God!

He had other ideas to use a willing generation for His Glory. He transformed the farmers and the potters and the musicians into warriors and royalty. He took the hands of the artists, soft and gentle and restored a city.

The job was not an easy one; backbreaking labor, no power tools or fancy gadgets, fraught with despair and discouragement, gossip and fake news.

Nehemiah, using wisdom from above, organized these simple people in families and neighborhoods to rebuild a portion of the wall around the city. “So they would not be a reproach.”

I don’t presume to be a bible scholar or historian, but one can see in reading this that the wall around a city was an important part of the society back then. Perhaps protection against wild animals, marauding thieves or criminals? To have a broken down wall was perhaps an indication of the city’s lack of care or careless ignorance of sin? I do not know, but I do know that as I read this account, I am moved at the similarities between this people and my own people.

A task to restore God’s design is countered on all sides by false teaching, arrogant leaders, squabbling from within, jealousy, envy, scoffers, futile speculation and lies. It is no picnic!

A really cool thing that Nehemiah instituted was the protection and covering of the workers on the wall.

“All of them conspired together to come and fight against Jerusalem and to cause a disturbance in it. But we prayed to our God, and because of them we set up a guard against them day and night.” Nehemiah 4:8-9

When the people were overcome by fear and all the rubbish around them, Nehemiah purposely stationed them in families with swords and spears and bows. He encouraged them and reminded them how great and awesome is their God. When the burden bearers got tired, the work detail was reorganized such that half of the people worked while half guarded. They rallied with the cry, “Our God will fight for us!!”

I have always taken this story as mandate for intercession. As our brethren labor to build, we who intercede are at the ready, listening for direction on how to pray. What a beautiful and successful organization for the purpose of building God’s kingdom!

Thank You, oh God, for this incredible story of hope and success nestled within the pages of Your Word. Let us not forget the history before us, or the fortitude of our forefathers!

“Do not be afraid of them; remember the Lord who is great and awesome, and fight for your brothers, your sons, your daughters, your wives and your houses!” -Nehemiah 4:14