“Like arrows in the hand of a warrior are children born in one’s youth.” Psalms 127:4
Forty years of marriage has been blessed with three living children and now ten grandchildren. The undeniable blessing of children in our lives has been the most fertile growing ground for growth as a couple and as people of God.
We celebrated our first anniversary with a three year old and a four month old. We jumped into life with both feet and tackled every hurdle with the tools we brought with us. Our lives, from day one, after the honeymoon, involved kids. We didn’t always know what we were doing, we made colossal mistakes along the way, and had some pretty disagreeable moments together. Overall, we agreed in our goal to raise God-fearing children who would grow up to be responsible adults. And mostly we had fun doing it.
Since I tend to really look at the gut level intensity of life, evaluate it, dissect it and try to make sense of it, I have to speak to the weight of being the mother-half of the marriage.
Carrying a person in one’s body for ten months, feeding them with your body for eighteen months, seeing to their every need for at least five to maybe eighteen or more years produces strong feelings of attachment…separating oneself from this requires some serious mental gymnastics…we humans make it a point to teach slow detachment to produce offspring who are mostly independent by the time they are eighteen.
Yet the emotional weight of being a mother never really goes away. Sometimes it is very heavy. Sometimes suffocating. Sometimes light and free and fun. We feel exhilarated one moment and completely overwhelmed the next.
Having just said goodbye to my own mother this last year, I can speak from experience. The concern, care and love for your children does not dim even after sixty five years. I feel convinced that my mama waited until my brother, who was more or less a dependent adult, to pass away before she even approached death’s door, regardless of her failing mind and fragile breakable body. It seemed like a real closure for her. As she lay gasping for breath in her final hours, having not spoken or eaten in days, she rose up a little, opened her eyes and asked me if I was going to be okay.
NO MOM, I am not going to be ok…but I will be…eventually. You’ve taught me well.
Today, I realize the sweet legacy of parenting, given me by my family, shared with my husband, and passed on to our children is one of the more powerful tools God gives us in our lives. The weight is a glad weight and He doesn’t leave us alone in the endeavor.
We are anointed and sent out. We are accompanied. We are held up. We are overwhelmed with love, so sweet that it takes our breath away. Whether it is holding our babies for the first time, or holding their babies for the first time. Whether it is holding a tiny hand as they learn to walk, or being held by theirs as we leave the earth.
This meandering writing brings tears to my eyes just now. I miss my little babies and all of their ways and yet I am so proud of the adults they have become and I love watching them parent my little grandchildren.
What a gift was this part of my marriage. My husband and I had a grand adventure in our little corner of the earth and we are continuing to enjoy the fruits of our labors!!
Thanks Dan Cornett! Thank You God!!
“Come to Me, all who are weary and heavy-laden, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For My yoke is easy and My burden is light.” -Matthew 11:28-30