Looking Backward

“Brothers, I do not count myself to have apprehended; but one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind and reaching forward to those things which are ahead, I press toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God, in Christ Jesus.” -Phil 3:13,14

The last day of 2024.

A new year is unfolding like a great and beautiful new blanket with soft, colorful threads, patterns and light, a freshness, a fullness.

A beckoning, welcoming Hand calls us forward to skip into the ‘Land’.

Many of us dwell so much on past events, gazing backward over our shoulders. We look, longingly at each hurtle, every rock we climbed, at every turn we navigated, thinking back to the optional routes we could have, should have, would have taken.

On this day, we look only forward.

We are instructed pointedly, in the Bible, if called to go out, ‘not to look back’. Just ‘go’.

In the story of Lot’s wife, ( Genesis 19:26) , looking back reflected a longing for what had been left behind.

Jesus emphasized the commitment and focus on the Kingdom of God. Looking back with nostalgia or reluctance can hinder progress and distract from the ultimate goal of following Christ. (Luke 9:62)

I clearly remember the day I became aware of the way many tackled the New Year’s Eve Nostalgia, disappointments, wishes for do-overs.

I was seventeen.

I was hanging out with a friend, her older boyfriend and their friends. In a small Missouri town there was not much to do except drive around, ‘cruise’. We cranked the music up and drove all over creation and back around. The older boyfriend had secured a bottle of ‘Blue Nun’ white wine. I looked skeptically at the odd shaped bottle. Not wanting to appear uncool. I soon learned after the first sip, driving around, that this made you dizzy and sick. A few more sips and I didn’t care.

At the completion of the bottle, we managed to make it back to the house and sat around talking. New Year’s resolutions soon became lofty thoughts and philosophical conversations about who knows what. Six teenagers, drowning their boredom, self loathing and fears of the future in booze.

I realized shortly into this fun that I was incredibly disappointed, bored, and the whole thing was empty and pointless. I felt so alone in a crowd. Eye-opener. THIS is New Year’s Eve? What is all the hype about?!

This was the starting place my life, as young adult, in sorting out value, worth and depth of life experiences. What is worth my time?

As I look back ‘over my shoulder’, FIFTY years ago (gasp!), I think I see that I actually grew up. LOL. The memory does not sting with shame, it doesn’t raise any longing. It is a part of my history and my life experience but more importantly it simply points to an old way of life that I no longer embrace. These are just pieces of building blocks that made me who I am today.

I am looking forward tonight and SEE so much BIGGER. I am no longer in that sad, dark, depressing house.

I live in a mansion of hope and joy and celebration. I welcome the day, I open my arms to 2025, with anticipation, for what God will do in and through me and in the loved ones that surround my little corner of the earth.

I am a perfect package of unlimited power and glory, created in Christ Jesus for good works!

This year I will relish that.

” I find the strength of Christ’s explosive power infuses me to conquer every difficulty.” -Philippians 4:13