I visited a little church this past weekend invited by my Niece. I was just an anonymous visitor, slipping in to be near to the worship and hear the Word of God.
What I saw was a magnificent surprise. I saw fellow sojourners.
I have been looking for a church home for awhile; a place to share and be shared-with. The Bible encourages us to assemble with one another. We are so in need of community. We don’t even know it half the time, but when we do immerse ourselves in this sweet fellowship with like-minded believers something miraculous occurs. We give of ourselves and receive back one hundred fold.
So far, in my quest to ‘find a church’, I have felt invisible. I have been just a number; a pew warmer. Fill out a card. Sit over there. End of event. I have been on a search out in the wilderness and I have felt alone in this mission.
Like betrayed Hagar, Sarah’s handmaid, I have been lost. But God saw the whole event in Genesis 15 and 16. He was so gracious with this woman. He saw her right where she was in her woundedness as a rejected single mom. And He spoke life to her and to her son. God sees me as well and gifted me with the awareness that I am indeed SEEN.
This past Sunday I realized that not only did I feel seen but everyone gathered seemed to feel it too. The joy was palpable. The thanksgiving was loud. The community was REAL.
It wasn’t about what you wear, how you walk, how well you sing, what you did, or why you were there.
To be SEEN and acknowledged is a deep human need.
I did not realize this was that.
I have spent many years burying the deep hurt of feeling invisible and overlooked. So much so that when I am seen, I hide. It’s a strange conundrum.
I can honestly say, that in this, I have learned that God absolutely SEES me. He’s the One I care about. It’s His opinion that I need to cling to. When I rest in this truth, that I am seen, I walk in some incredible freedom. My quirky, wild dancing personality has no need to cower. My need to stand up for justice is released. I can be the woman that God intended, unapologetically.
And getting personal and real with God, I can actually name Him: El Roi- the God who SEES.
And like Hagar, He will lead me where I will be home.
