“Let the little children come to Me and do not hinder them, for to such belongs the kingdom of heaven.” -Matthew 19:14
I see a fat little hand reaching through a chain link fence in eager anticipation of the cookie offered by an elderly lady. The fragrance of the freshly baked chocolate chip delicacy is too enticing to be ignored. That chubby hand could barely fit through the opening, and with the giant cookie clutched tightly, it was an even tighter squeeze. Determined to have that treasure, the task is successful and the cookie is devoured in seconds by the tiny girl.
That hand, or ‘mitt’, as my father called it, belonged to me. This memory is as vivid today as if it happened yesterday. I can still remember the kind lady next door, the smell of the cookie, the sweet taste on my tongue and the wax paper bags that we later resorted to to get more than one cookie through that fence. It was a conspiracy between our neighbor and my two-year-old self to ruin my dinner and fatten me up…even more. I vaguely remember that my mother disapproved of our ‘arrangement’ but would always concede to her kindness.
Whenever this ‘vision’ pops into my head, the vision of my fat hand squeezing through that hole and grasping for the cookie, I sense that it is my God’s reminder to ask Him for what I need. He wants me to reach out, to reach through, to grab His Hand and His cookies.
Cookies represent a coveted treasure to me. I crave the fresh-baked melty goodness. They represent reward, enjoyment, pleasure, success, joy, rest. Surely the endorphins produced when I eat them would result in all of the above feelings. The early introduction planted the vision so strongly in me that it comes back to mind regularly. It’s not even about the cookie anymore so much as the grasping and reaching for things.
As difficulties come and resistance occurs it seems the hole in the fence gets smaller and my hand gets fatter. Often, my hand gets stuck in the fence and I can’t get the ‘cookie’ through. It is like this as I pursue the things of God. I aggressively go after the things He has and then stop half-way there.Or I don’t even try to get my hand through the barrier because I remember what happened last time and now I’m afraid to ask, afraid to even seek. I’m still the chubby toddler eagerly looking for the treasure, but now I’m jaded by experience and wounds, and the joy of obtaining the sweet things of God has been lost.
I will contend here for the faith! I will not give up on the rich things of the Kingdom. I will pursue the depths for more and more until the time that I dwell fully with my Father in heaven. God has whet my appetite and He is calling me out daily to ‘the fence’.
“Come to Me all who are weary and heavy-laden and I will give you rest.” Matthew 11:28