I learned to work a garden following after my mama.
I still remember being little and putting the seeds and dirt into my mouth as she worked among the plants. She laughed at me and asked, didn’t I know that I would grow a great beanstalk in my tummy if I ate the dirt and the seeds. My immediate response, imagining the giant beanstalk coming out of my head, was to spit out the mess.
It occurred to me today, as I toiled among the asparagus, that my mom had left me a beautiful gift with this gardening thing, and better still, she left me this Asparagus patch. It is a lot of work with the Louisiana grass trying every day to overcome everything in its path. Yet, here I am, every morning up to my eyeballs in dirt, cleaning and preparing the beds for spring; Bit by bit, step by step.
But…it’s MY dirt.
I have spent much of my life, as a mom, a wife, a nurse, taking care of other people. I’m pretty sure I started taking care of people when my little brother was born. I sure was a bossy older sister and always had my nose in other people’s business. I made everyone else’s business my business….I remember making lists of chores for my brothers to accomplish because I was disgusted with clutter and dirty dishes. They pretty much laughed at my efforts and I still wound up doing the dishes somehow.
All this to say, the line between what is my ‘stuff’ and what is just NOT my responsibility was pretty blurred growing up and has continued up til now. I have often ‘done it all’ to the point of mental and physical exhaustion. I willingly take on many things that are just plain too much for any one human and usually are not my jobs…And by golly! I’m going to get them done and done well!
I read a little question that was posed in a devotional this morning that gave me pause and led me on this little stringer of thought. The question: “Is this something God wants you to do, or is it something others are asking of you?” The devotional continued on with saying that stress comes from taking on burdens that Jesus never asked us to carry….
Ummm….Were you talking to ME?
Well…the asparagus patch…I am quietly tending my own weeds and dirt and having a little bit of asparagus for dinner. I’m focused on JUST that which is my responsibility and I feel fine. I do not feel guilty or required or late or early or even exhausted…I am delighted to be following after my Mama still…Learning, growing, sitting in the sunshine and dirt.
Thank You my dear Lord for leading me down this garden path…I know I tend to trudge and whine and cry a lot, and I continually question Your judgement in leading me a certain way, but sitting here playing at doing chores and minding my own affairs has given me great rest and peace.
“He Himself is our peace.”-Ephesians 2:14 NIV