Rejection

Art. Writing. Dance. Drama. Song. Speech. Am I not good enough? Pretty enough? Smart enough? Funny enough? What if I fail? What if I don’t have what it takes? What if ‘they’ don’t like me? What if I am not cool enough, fun enough?

Rejection. This long buried feeling surfaces and prods me. It rises up into my consciousness and bubbles up in emotion. Tears. A tongue stilled. A heart aching. A throat clenched quiet and closed. Eyes cast down. Shoulders heavy. Grief. Loss. All the old wounds flame hot inside me. Every person who ever rejected me is emblazoned in my mind’s eye. Every lie I have ever swallowed about myself suddenly appear as truths.

I forget the sweet truth that Jesus accepted me Just As I Am. I forget that He says I am more than a conqueror, a royal priest, a child of the King, a vessel unto honor, purified, forgiven, His favored one, a light, salt, a fragrant aroma, that I have been imbued with power. All of these are forgotten in that white hot moment of tortured emotions.

It doesn’t take much to evoke this in me. I have learned to school my facial expressions and my response. The voice inside my head says, ” Don’t appear hurt. Don’t tell anyone you’re hurt. Don’t let on that your heart is broken. Get up. Brush yourself off and keep going.”

The reality of such is that all of the above becomes buried in an avalanche of thick exterior walls caved in around the deep wounds. Only a word or a shadowed look, or a turned shoulder will penetrate and cause a leak in the walls.

Renewing one’s mind casts off the lies that are embedded in those walls. The lies have profited no one and have caged a beautiful bird that was meant for flight higher than imaginable. Just how do I renew my mind? What does the Potter say to me?

I sit near to the Potter as He gently places His Hands upon the spinning clay. He speaks as He works. “You will grow whatever seed you plant in your heart and mind. Transformation occurs when you renew your mind. Replace the lies with the truth and truth will flourish. If you allow the seeds of fear, worry, doubt to grow unchecked you will have an abundance of seeds after their kind. If you plant the seeds of truth, cultivate and encourage their growth you will have a renewed and fruitful heart and mind. Take your eyes off the fear and anxiety and align with what the Word of God says. Recognize the lies. Replace with the truth. Repeat.”

How simple this sounds when He says it. His Hands molding and shaping the clay, His gentle guidance as He places my hands on the pot. All that I can say is, “Yes.”

In that “Yes” is power. Listening to the Potter. Jesus. Not the lies. Not myself. Just start saying yes to the things He says. Truth flows.

I have been given the power to stare down REJECTION; The power to declare the TRUTH.

“Stop imitating the ideals and opinions of the culture around you, but be inwardly transformed by the Holy Spirit through a total reformation of how you think. This will empower you to discern God’s will as you live a beautiful life satisfying and perfect in His eyes.” -Romans 12:2 TPT