There was THAT moment.
That moment in time when realization flooded me. He has called me His. He has called me to be His Intercessor.
His WHAT!!?? You mean, You want me to pray?!
And HEY! JUST an Intercessor? What the heck God!? That’s it!? That’s all You got!?
Can you imagine talking back to The God? Yep. That’s me. Raised on questioning authority, steeped in independence, and serious leanings toward rebellion. Pretty good at public speaking, a born actress, a spinner of tales, good with kids and dogs, tenderhearted and merciful and God tells me He has ‘called’ me to be His Intercessor. You can hear the distaste dripping off my words. The scorn at actually being ‘unseen’ and ‘invisible’. The nerve of God! And yet… Was there something to this?
I had been pursuing God for a year; literally running after Him. Kids grown, working three days a week, ministering at church, husband at home and me looking for what God wanted me to do. I guess I thought the above was not enough… or not big enough.. or not worthy? I was certain I could hear Him saying He had a JOB for me. I kept praying, fasting, looking, doing, listening…
Then Sheila…
A dear friend from home group had become gravely ill. What started as a minor respiratory infection got progressively worse, to the point of being hospitalized. Her husband and kids bereft, our home group rallied with prayer, meals and visits. I began to pray in earnest. My heart was broken and the tears and intercession poured out of me. I had a powerful sense of God’s great love for Sheila and her husband. I was on my knees several times a day for weeks and then, one day, I felt an incredible release, as if I suddenly KNEW she would be okay, she would be healed! I went to visit her in the ICU, to lay hands on her and to pray. On the ventilator and kept unconscious, I thought she actually squeezed my hand with her cold one as I prayed. Praying for unconscious people was not my comfort zone, but I knew I was supposed to be there doing just that.
Within the week Sheila had improved and was taken off the vent. When I heard the news, a victorious flood of tears burst out of me. It was in this moment that I could actually hear God SAY… This is what I have for you to do. I was humbled and dismayed at my original attitude. The tears of victory became repentant and grateful! I had NO idea….
Being a small part in a GIANT plan suddenly became a BIG deal. Sheila was that gift God gave to me!!!
The invisibility is a hard one for my prideful self. “Secret weapon, stealth ambassador, hidden weapon, trustworthy messenger” are much more palatable titles. I am still learning what this all means. I still stumble with tooting my own horn; with telling that I helped… I share all this to remind you, to remind myself, that whether visible and famous, or ‘behind the scenes’, quietly toiling, you are valuable and exactly where you are to be. Father God says you are DEAR to His Heart! A fragrant aroma…
“…Angels were holding golden bowls, full of incense, which were the prayers of the saints…” -Revelations 8:3
As the years have passed since ‘that moment’, I have grown content with being quiet, with listening to where I am supposed to be, who I am to pray for, when I should pray. This has not come about without growing pains.
I just try to listen, obey and pray. And wait for the MOMENTS that He ordains. I am His intercessor, after all.
“…I urge that supplications, prayers, intercessions, and thanksgivings be made for all people.” -1 Timothy 2:1